When I was working on this newsletter, I was reminded of an article I read, probably for a grad school counseling or psychology course. The article stated that middle aged women were the most stressed group.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t track that old article down, but I did run across a 2014 study done by the British government that said that while most people are generally content with their lives, regardless of their age level, that those in “middle age years” of 45-59 seem to be the least happy and they noted a sharp increase in midlife anxiety. (If you’re interested, you can find information for that study here. If you’re into that kind of thing, it’s an interesting read.)
Unlike the article I read for that grad school class, I don’t just factually understand it. Now, I really get it!
If you look at it, anxiety and stress have a number of sources in middle-aged and older women, and not all of them are obvious.
Physical issues create a stack of problems. Perimenopause and menopause create hormonal shifts that can contribute to or even cause stress and anxiety. Declining levels of certain hormones can interfere with sleep and reduce energy levels. Health and pain issues can add to the difficulties.
On top of this, most middle aged women are dealing with family issues which can be as wide ranging as raising children, helping aging parents, coping with death, divorce, empty nest syndrome, and shifting personal identities, to name just a few.
To add insult to injury, we live in a youth-obsessed culture that doesn’t tend to be kind to aging women. The pressure to mask the signs of aging adds its own anxiety. Decisions to prioritize family life may leave you in a professional corner, or the decision to prioritize your professional career may have shifted your family dynamic.
If a person looks at the experiences of aging women, it’s very easy to see many reasons why we are chronically stressed and anxious. What might not be quite so easy to see is the opportunity.
What happens if we stop suppressing our anxiety? What if we look at anxiety as an indicator? When we’re driving a car, we’re accustomed to looking down at the dash for information – how fast are we driving, how full is the gas tank, is the tire pressure low, and so forth. When we’re familiar with the car that we’re driving, we generally use those indicators as information to help us make informed decisions. ‘Hmmm, I’ve got a quarter tank of gas, so I think I’ll stop at the gas station before I go home.’
What if we looked at anxiety in the same way? What if that anxiety feeling merely indicates that something needs attention? I don’t know about you, but for me, merely asking that question reduces some of the tension in my shoulders.
I wish I’d read Sabrina Romanoff’s article in Psychology Today years ago. She walks us through 6 steps to rewire the interpretations we link to our anxiety indicators. When we learn how to more correctly interpret our anxiety signals, we can then redirect that energy into more comfortably navigating the choices in our daily lives.
To read her 6 simple (but not always intuitive) ways to use anxiety as fuel for growth, click here.
(Interested in more on this topic? Harvard Business Review has a fascinating article on the Anxiety-Distraction Feedback Loop and for those who are more interested in the how Mindful.org has a very useful article on Unwinding Your Anxiety Habit Loop.)